woah...

woah. so tonight i get on my facebook account and i see that an old YW leader made a group about leaving the mormon church. i finally got to know what happened and why she left, but in doing i saw MORE facebook groups about how to, why, and support groups. im honestly shocked right now. the church is the reason why im still here. i love the gospel and the truths that it brings. it hurts to have someone who taught me many of these truths turn her back on and leave it all. i know its true- all of it. i love this woman because of what she taught and how she affected my life however, its hard not to look at her and think of all the wonderful things that she has given up. anyways, i suppose my eyes have been opened and my testimony tested and strengthened by this experience. 

a week...

woah, so angie is right! its been a week and no new post! well... lets be honest i havent weighed myself. BUT! i have worked everyday but sunday and monday. (friday night it was at 1 am but it counts!) my clothes are just a little looser which is definitely nice and my body is happier (im not going into details...) ive kinda made the half goal to be able to run a 10 minute mile. right now im just under 15. eating wise, ive cut way back on soda not entirely off it since my schedule is so random and my work out is so late. and i dont crave candy anymore! thank goodness. i mean, its good, just not something i need a lot of. although, on the downside i need to up my water. at work i bought 30 bottles for 4.51. im impressed. i think ill buy more...

on the bright side on monday when i slacked off i felt really weird going to bed and not working out before. it was as if my body was saying, uhhh... we dont like this! anyways, i have a friend crisis i have to attend too, ill write more soon! promise!

im fat

k, so the other day i realized- - im fat. ive always known i was overweight but i realized that i am actually fat. so i guess im following in angies footsteps and declaring that im going to lose weight and become accountable on here. yay.

i joined a gym. i really do actually love running. once i can get myself motivated to go a couple of times i crave the exercise. its just down the road and my friend is a member too so we're going to go together and help each other out. also, im Insulin Resistant which means i have a different kind of diet. aka- lots of protein and cut way back on carbs. i dont need  to worry so much about calories as i do carbs. anyway, it pretty much sucks. i love pastas and baked goods- all carb infused. but ill figure out. so i guess ill pick a day to weigh in and post how much ive lost and stuff. tomorrow im going grocery shopping and sticking to it.